How to find YOUR Therapist.

If you’ve come across this article I’m assuming you are in the market for a therapist.. or you’re at least flirting with the idea. In this article I will share my trials, tribulations and triumphs with finding a therapist to make your experience easier.

Please, know that you are not alone in the quest to sort out the anxieties, challenges and overall contents of your mind. There are many people in the same boat, if not everyone.

In my opinion.. therapists, social workers, counselors and coaches do a job that is invaluable. They are the platform for us to share and work through those things that prevent us from being our best, happiest selves. They’re a guide for us to look at our life from an outside perspective. Collectively, they make the world a brighter place.

Of course, like anything, not all therapists are YOUR therapist. In other words, not every therapist will fit right for you. Just like our day to day relationships, we get along with some and we don’t with others. It’s as simple as that. I am writing this article to help you find YOUR therapist.

In my case, I was looking for a therapist because of debilitating anxiety that was gnawing at me for months. It was difficult for me to get out of my own way and it finally led me to the place where I decided to ask a professional for their guidance and insight. Afterall, we are a social species designed to help each other evolve.

How I found my therapist, the formula:

1. Identify what you want/need in a therapist. What are your non-negotiables?

• I knew I was experiencing anxiety and therefore I wanted someone who specialized in anxiety.
• I did NOT want to be put on medication. I wanted an alternative approach. (I had been on medication before.)
• I wanted an older female. (I feel more comfortable with a female than a male & I wanted someone who was older with more experience.)
• I needed them to be within my budget of $150 per session.

These non-negotiables will begin to outline and target the best therapist for you. Of course, the more you know about yourself and what you are experiencing the better you can do this.

Okay, now that you’ve got your non-negotiables..

2. Create a list of therapists.

• The list began with recommendations from people I trusted. If there were any therapists that came highly recommended I threw them on the list.
• Second, I researched what was offered through my university, my town’s counseling center and through my insurance. I threw them on the list.
• Lastly, I googled social workers and therapists throughout my area. They were added too.

Yes, this might sound overwhelming but I assure you it’s not as much as it seems and in the end it is well worth the effort. Otherwise, we can end up wasting time and money with a therapist who is totally unaligned with us.. and who wants that?

To put things in perspective, I ended up with about six therapists on my list.

Interdependence is and ought to be as much the ideal of man as self sufficiency. Man is a social being.

Mahatma Gandhi

First, I outlined the things that were important to me, my non-negotiables. Second, I turned my non-negotiables into a list of people who I felt met those standards. Lastly, the third step was feeling which of the six people on my list fit me best.

3. Try the shoes on.

• Have a short call or meeting with each therapist on your list. Typically, therapists will have an intro call or discovery call where you can get to know each other and see if the shoe fits.
• Share why you are there and what you are looking to get out of the experience.
• Express your non-negotiables. (In my case, I expressed that I wanted an alternative approach to medication and what my budget was.)

Now as you try your shoes on you’ll begin to feel that one feels better than the other. I shared how I was feeling, the standards that were important to me and slowly but surely I weeded one after another out before locking one down. In my case, I didn’t even make it through my whole list before determining who I wanted my therapist to be. I found a shoe that fit well and here I am a few years later incredibly grateful for the process and my therapist.

Again, this was my experience and it helped me in such a profound way that I thought maybe it can take some of the stress off other people too. This entire process took just about a month or so. Of course some days, especially with the anxiety, I was feeling incredibly nervous about if I’d find someone to help or not and when it might happen. Although, through a mix of balancing my patience and eagerness I was able to choose someone who worked well with me. I didn’t rush into anything that didn’t work.

Again, the fact that you have even read this article shows in itself the positive direction that you are headed. I wish you the absolute best on your journey of finding a therapist and ultimately learning more about yourself & healing. It’s a process that is very much worth it. As a result, my relationship with myself has become much more wholesome and as a domino effect to that.. so have most of my other relationships. You get to see your life from a very different perspective on this road, one that allows you more confidence to live your life the way you choose. Much love.

If you’ve found value in this I ask that you please share and let me know. The feedback is much appreciated and helps guide where I can be of best service and guidance.